Sunday, November 28, 2010

Tomorrow!

I cannot believe I have made it this whole time without POAS.  My IVF buddy, the Baby Baker, did this  morning and she got a positive!  Yay!  Go over and congratulate her!

I am really praying for peace and to not be anxious.  I really want a positive test.  I just don't know how to feel or how to pray or how to think or how to not be anxious!  I know that was a grammatically incorrect sentence - so sorry.

We've almost finished putting up our Christmas decorations.  My husband got a new version of Rock Band this weekend for his birthday and he is currently playing that.  Maybe after dinner we can either play together or watch a movie. 

I don't know how I will feel tomorrow either way.  I know I'll obvious be happy for a positive, but will I laugh, cry, run around the house jumping for joy?  I just don't know.  Anything is possible.  What will I do if it's negative?  Will I just take it and be like, "oh well"?  Will I be able to make it through the conversation with the nurse before I start crying?  Will I be able to call my husband with the news?  I am just so glad I took a vacation day tomorrow.  I know I wouldn't get anything done at work. 

I know that God has a plan for me.  I just do not know what that is.  It may be for me to be pregnant right now.  It may be for me to be pregnant in three years from now.  It may be for us to adopt, but I certainly don't feel that right now.  His plan may be for us to live child free.  Whatever the Lord wants for us, we will still have joy in being one of His elect. 

Thanks for reading my spastic post.  Until tomorrow...

4 comments:

  1. Good luck tomorrow, I'll be praying for you.

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  2. I just hope you get a BFP so you dont have to think of the alternatives:) Will be thinking of you tomorrow!!!

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  3. good luck today!!!

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