Hi Everyone. I know it has been almost three months since I posted. I am not pregnant. I think that has been one of the things keeping me from posting. It was just too much to have to type those words again.
We had a consult with the RE earlier this month and he wanted to do some autoimmune testing before we talked about IVF again. I was kind of annoyed because a year and a half ago, when I'd failed our first IVF cycle, I asked him about autoimmune issues, and he told me that the testing was a waste because the results could be different every day depending on my cycle among other things. He had told me that the problem seemed to be my stress. Well, he did the testing and I have slightly elevated Natural Killer cells, but not enough that he wants us to jump in and spend $20K for IVIG treatments during our next IVF cyle. I did have pretty elevated numbers of another type of autoimmune numbers (I will find the sheets and post on the exact stuff they tested some other time) and he prescribed Trental and told me to take a baby aspirin every day. He also had me start on some immune-boosting supplements before he'd even gotten the test results back: Myo-Inositol, Coenzyme Q-10, DHEA, L-Arginine, and Melatonin. I will take these for a month then go back to have my levels tested again. I feel like all I do is pop pills. Then, my psychologist thinks that I am not getting anywhere with my treatment with her and suggested again that I take anti-depressants. This led to a trip to my primary care doctor's office. I met with a new doctor this time and asked her to look at my ears, which had been bothering me. Apparently I have so much fluid build-up that I may need tubes. But, to try to avoid that, she prescribed Prednisone (steroid), Augmentin (antibiotic), Zyrtec (allergy meds), and Flo-nase (nose spray) on top of my Prozac. I am going back to her in a month to see if I can avoid a trip to the ENT. The number of pills I take every day is ridiculous.
Today is my second day on the Prozac. Yesterday, I was really sleepy, but I don't know if it was because of that or one of the meds prescribed for my ears. Being sleepy did not stop me from going to see The Hunger Games. It was pretty good. I didn't think it was the best movie I'd seen, but it was good. I felt like they had to squeeze it into such a short movie that they included all the important events, but the feelings just couldn't be portrayed like they were in the book.
I had already listened to The Hunger Games on audiobook borrowed from the library. I put my name down for Catching Fire and Mockingjay when I was done listening to the first one. I didn't want to get them if the first one stunk or had an ending that really disappointed me. Mockingjay came in within a couple of weeks, but I was number 80 in the queue for Catching Fire and the library system has 15 copies. Earlier this week, (2 months later) I was #10 and I got a notice today that it is being held for me!!! I can't wait to go tomorrow at lunch and pick it up!
Besides that I have been sewing and crocheting. A lot of my friends are having babies, so I mostly have been making baby gifts - crocheted and sewn stuffed animals, burp cloths, and tag blankies. I have also been crocheting to give to the Atlanta Pregnancy Resource Center. I've crocheted a blanket and some booties and hats. I am not very fast. I am crocheting some little "tawashis" for my dad's wife, which are like these little wash cloths you can use as dishcloths or to wash your face. They are fast to make. I have the stuff to make one of those grocery bag holders from a pattern I found on Pinterest. I am addicted to Pinterest.
So, I am hopefully going to post more often than every three months now. I hope you will read and leave comments. I have a lot more to say, but I figure I have said enough for now.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Saturday, December 31, 2011
IUI - Check & High Hopes for 2012
Well, the IUI is done. My doctor was taking a day off, so I met a new doctor in the practice who did my IUI. The speculum application was not fun. It pinched me then hurt so bad when she put it back in that she declared I needed a smaller one. It was much better. Why can't they always use that smaller speculum? I think I will ask about that when I go for my ob/gyn visit in Feb.
I am doing my Circle + Bloom every day (twice yesterday, after the IUI) and praying that this is it. If this isn't it, we are faced with IVF again, which none of us wants, including my doctor. But, we aren't going to have to even think about it because this is going to work.
2012 is going to be my year for a take-home baby. I have three months to make that statement come true. Hopefully, I won't have to do anything else to make it happen. I am starting Prometrium tonight, BTW.
We are going out to an early dinner with friends from church tonight. None of us wants to be tired tomorrow at church. So, we aren't doing our usual get-together and game night. I really don't need to over-tire myself anyway.
I hope you all have a safe and happy evening. May 2012 bring you many blessings and allow you many opportunities to glorify God.
I am doing my Circle + Bloom every day (twice yesterday, after the IUI) and praying that this is it. If this isn't it, we are faced with IVF again, which none of us wants, including my doctor. But, we aren't going to have to even think about it because this is going to work.
2012 is going to be my year for a take-home baby. I have three months to make that statement come true. Hopefully, I won't have to do anything else to make it happen. I am starting Prometrium tonight, BTW.
We are going out to an early dinner with friends from church tonight. None of us wants to be tired tomorrow at church. So, we aren't doing our usual get-together and game night. I really don't need to over-tire myself anyway.
I hope you all have a safe and happy evening. May 2012 bring you many blessings and allow you many opportunities to glorify God.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Another IUI In The Works
Hello all,
Well, we have another IUI in the works. After I took a month off, I was in the office, ready to start another IUI last month and when we started counting days and realized that the day we would most likely need to do the IUI would be the same day we were having my family over and then from there going to the house of our head deacon at church for a Christmas party for the elders and deacons. I discussed it with the NP and my nurse and we all agreed that I'd be too stressed out so we put it off until this month.
Day 1 was last Saturday, Dec. 17. Today is day 11. I took 10 mcg of on day 4 and 5 for 3 days after that. From Dec 22-26, I took 75 units of Menopur (which burned like crazy this month). I went back to the doctor today. I have one substantial follicle on the right side which is 25mm. I saw a few tiny ones on the left side, but the Dr didn't bother measuring them. My lining is 7.5mm. They did bw to check my estrogen and gave me a low-dose HCG shot and gave me a couple to take home.
I heard from my nurse and she said that my estrogen was 111, which she thought was good. The last IUI, it was 115 on day 10, but the follicles were smaller (and there were two, I think). I am going to do another shot of low does HCG tomorrow morning and we will trigger with Ovidrel tomorrow night. We'll do the IUI on Friday morning.
I read online that the follicle is what is creating the estrogen and that they want your estrogen to be 150-200 per follicle. Last time I had more than one and it was 115, this time I have one and it is 111. But, there are those other small ones. I just don't know how to think about that. I am doing my Circle + Bloom every day. I am trying to stay positive and relaxed. Of course, it is Christmas time so I am eating lots of junk food, so that might be my undoing. I have been off work since last Thursday, so I am as relaxed as I can get without going on vacation to the beach again. I believe this will work. I have to. I also have another funny tidbit. As I was driving to the doctor's office this morning, I realized that the tag number on the car in front of me as I was about to get off the interstate had the first three letters as "BFP". It made me smile.
So, my question is - how fast does your estrogen go up every day? I am praying that my one little follicle is mature.
Well, we have another IUI in the works. After I took a month off, I was in the office, ready to start another IUI last month and when we started counting days and realized that the day we would most likely need to do the IUI would be the same day we were having my family over and then from there going to the house of our head deacon at church for a Christmas party for the elders and deacons. I discussed it with the NP and my nurse and we all agreed that I'd be too stressed out so we put it off until this month.
Day 1 was last Saturday, Dec. 17. Today is day 11. I took 10 mcg of on day 4 and 5 for 3 days after that. From Dec 22-26, I took 75 units of Menopur (which burned like crazy this month). I went back to the doctor today. I have one substantial follicle on the right side which is 25mm. I saw a few tiny ones on the left side, but the Dr didn't bother measuring them. My lining is 7.5mm. They did bw to check my estrogen and gave me a low-dose HCG shot and gave me a couple to take home.
I heard from my nurse and she said that my estrogen was 111, which she thought was good. The last IUI, it was 115 on day 10, but the follicles were smaller (and there were two, I think). I am going to do another shot of low does HCG tomorrow morning and we will trigger with Ovidrel tomorrow night. We'll do the IUI on Friday morning.
I read online that the follicle is what is creating the estrogen and that they want your estrogen to be 150-200 per follicle. Last time I had more than one and it was 115, this time I have one and it is 111. But, there are those other small ones. I just don't know how to think about that. I am doing my Circle + Bloom every day. I am trying to stay positive and relaxed. Of course, it is Christmas time so I am eating lots of junk food, so that might be my undoing. I have been off work since last Thursday, so I am as relaxed as I can get without going on vacation to the beach again. I believe this will work. I have to. I also have another funny tidbit. As I was driving to the doctor's office this morning, I realized that the tag number on the car in front of me as I was about to get off the interstate had the first three letters as "BFP". It made me smile.
So, my question is - how fast does your estrogen go up every day? I am praying that my one little follicle is mature.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Update
Hi Y'all!
It seems like I am not a very good blogger. Things have been so busy between work, church, and preparing for our Bible study, that I haven't had much time to blog. And, I have been pretty down lately, so I haven't had the inclination to blog.
So, we have taken this month off. I have been taking the chewable "stress and adrenal" pills from my chiropractor. I didn't bother doing the little pee sticks for ovulation this month. I have been having cramps since Wednesday. I had some spotting on the night before, though. My DH thought it might be implantation bleeding because it was so early in the month and without all the drugs, I usually have a 33 day cycle. Tuesday was day 22 of my cycle. I took a HPT on Wednesday morning and it was negative. Of course, if I am still on track for a 33-day cycle, then it would be too early for accurate results, I guess. I have had cramping off and on and light to medium spotting ever since. I felt sure I'd get the visit from AF every day, but haven't. We are planning to do an IUI this cycle, if we are able to with our clinic's schedule. They close for a week every December for a deep cleaning in the lab. I really don't want AF to come so early, though, because we are going to Charleston with my sister and BIL the weekend of Thanksgiving and I don't know how we'd explain the need to bring a cooler, syringes, and injectable meds that have to be refrigerated with us.
I figure if we've gone this long w/o spilling the beans, I really would like to be pregnant or have made the decision that we're just not having kids before telling them. I so want them to all be surprised when we make our announcement!
Work is really getting crazy with my company going through an acquisition as the acquiree. People in my area are dropping like flies. We've finally started talking about our Christmas shopping. Usually I am almost done by now. We went looking for a new artificial tree a couple of weeks ago, then decided we'd look a few more places and have never been back to the store to look. All the good ones will be bought if we keep dragging our feet. Have you started/finished your shopping or thought about decorations yet?
It seems like I am not a very good blogger. Things have been so busy between work, church, and preparing for our Bible study, that I haven't had much time to blog. And, I have been pretty down lately, so I haven't had the inclination to blog.
So, we have taken this month off. I have been taking the chewable "stress and adrenal" pills from my chiropractor. I didn't bother doing the little pee sticks for ovulation this month. I have been having cramps since Wednesday. I had some spotting on the night before, though. My DH thought it might be implantation bleeding because it was so early in the month and without all the drugs, I usually have a 33 day cycle. Tuesday was day 22 of my cycle. I took a HPT on Wednesday morning and it was negative. Of course, if I am still on track for a 33-day cycle, then it would be too early for accurate results, I guess. I have had cramping off and on and light to medium spotting ever since. I felt sure I'd get the visit from AF every day, but haven't. We are planning to do an IUI this cycle, if we are able to with our clinic's schedule. They close for a week every December for a deep cleaning in the lab. I really don't want AF to come so early, though, because we are going to Charleston with my sister and BIL the weekend of Thanksgiving and I don't know how we'd explain the need to bring a cooler, syringes, and injectable meds that have to be refrigerated with us.
I figure if we've gone this long w/o spilling the beans, I really would like to be pregnant or have made the decision that we're just not having kids before telling them. I so want them to all be surprised when we make our announcement!
Work is really getting crazy with my company going through an acquisition as the acquiree. People in my area are dropping like flies. We've finally started talking about our Christmas shopping. Usually I am almost done by now. We went looking for a new artificial tree a couple of weeks ago, then decided we'd look a few more places and have never been back to the store to look. All the good ones will be bought if we keep dragging our feet. Have you started/finished your shopping or thought about decorations yet?
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Another Fail
Well, last Saturday, I did a HPT and it was negative. Then, AF showed up in full force on Monday. I had been having cramps for a few days already, but I was hoping that the cramps meant something else. I have been very upset. This is an understatement, to say the least. I have been trying to hard to have a good outlook and be positive and happy where I am in life. But, if I was fine with where we are, why would I be spending all this money to change that? I have an appointment with a new psychologist on Tuesday evening.
I still don't know much about my job. We have been throwing around the idea of me just not working after my job ends where I am now. Or, finding a job part time or way below my capabilities or both. It seems that I can't find a full time job doing what I do without being overworked. I know that they will let you work as much as you let them work you, but it's a vicious circle. I get a job working a 40-hour week and then they see that I will work hard and put me somewhere doing more or pile more work on me. Then, I see everyone around me working all the hours to get done with the work that we have as a team and I feel guilty packing up to leave everyday at 4:30. So, if I am only working the 40 hours, I feel guilty, which causes me stress and if I work the overtime I feel overworked and unappreciated. I actually was talking to our Controller the other day and she asked if I was working on the weekend, which I rarely do. I told her I probably would work this particular weekend. She said that she didn't need to work this weekend and she was always glad when she got to not work on the weekend. Like we should always expect to work long hours and the weekends and think it's a real treat when we don't. Whatever. I was surprised by that comment because it does not seem like that has always been her mindset. But, it irritated me.
I just don't know. On one hand, I would probably be happier if I was home keeping our home the way I want it to be, and running the errands we need run, etc... But, on the other hand, it is nice having 2 incomes and having security and putting money away in 401(k) and savings. I make a good deal more than my DH, and he is constantly trying to study for various exams to get more certifications in his field. In his field, certifications speak volumes. But, since I am always working so late, he does most of the house stuff during the week instead of studying. So, it always ends up that me working so hard to make so much money is holding him back from getting ahead and making more money. Right now, there's no way he could change jobs even with more experience and make more money because of the economy. But, hopefully in the near future, there will be opportunities. Also, I think it would be very humbling for me to stay home. I mean, it's not like I am dutifully staying home with our kids. Because, oh yeah, we can't have those. Plus, we really couldn't afford all these infertility treatments if I stayed home either. But, what if we don't need them anymore if I am home and not under all the stress of a job? And, if we decided that we did need to continue the treatments, I could always get a part time job somewhere close by.
I just don't know. It's on the table. All I know is that I am down. I am tired of all of this. I just want to be joyful and content in the situation in which God has placed us. And, I don't feel that way. I feel bitter. I hate it. Until next time...
I still don't know much about my job. We have been throwing around the idea of me just not working after my job ends where I am now. Or, finding a job part time or way below my capabilities or both. It seems that I can't find a full time job doing what I do without being overworked. I know that they will let you work as much as you let them work you, but it's a vicious circle. I get a job working a 40-hour week and then they see that I will work hard and put me somewhere doing more or pile more work on me. Then, I see everyone around me working all the hours to get done with the work that we have as a team and I feel guilty packing up to leave everyday at 4:30. So, if I am only working the 40 hours, I feel guilty, which causes me stress and if I work the overtime I feel overworked and unappreciated. I actually was talking to our Controller the other day and she asked if I was working on the weekend, which I rarely do. I told her I probably would work this particular weekend. She said that she didn't need to work this weekend and she was always glad when she got to not work on the weekend. Like we should always expect to work long hours and the weekends and think it's a real treat when we don't. Whatever. I was surprised by that comment because it does not seem like that has always been her mindset. But, it irritated me.
I just don't know. On one hand, I would probably be happier if I was home keeping our home the way I want it to be, and running the errands we need run, etc... But, on the other hand, it is nice having 2 incomes and having security and putting money away in 401(k) and savings. I make a good deal more than my DH, and he is constantly trying to study for various exams to get more certifications in his field. In his field, certifications speak volumes. But, since I am always working so late, he does most of the house stuff during the week instead of studying. So, it always ends up that me working so hard to make so much money is holding him back from getting ahead and making more money. Right now, there's no way he could change jobs even with more experience and make more money because of the economy. But, hopefully in the near future, there will be opportunities. Also, I think it would be very humbling for me to stay home. I mean, it's not like I am dutifully staying home with our kids. Because, oh yeah, we can't have those. Plus, we really couldn't afford all these infertility treatments if I stayed home either. But, what if we don't need them anymore if I am home and not under all the stress of a job? And, if we decided that we did need to continue the treatments, I could always get a part time job somewhere close by.
I just don't know. It's on the table. All I know is that I am down. I am tired of all of this. I just want to be joyful and content in the situation in which God has placed us. And, I don't feel that way. I feel bitter. I hate it. Until next time...
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Quick Update
Hi All.
I wanted to do a quick post before heading to do Circle + Bloom then to bed.
The IUI was Monday and it went well. We had 15.7million sperm. So, that's good. We had two follicles per our monitoring appointment last Friday, one was a 15 and one a 19, both on the right side.
I stayed home on Monday and just rested. It was weird because the IUI wasn't that painful, but I had pain afterwards. More like discomfort. It was kind of uncomfortable to sit up straight, like in my "area". Strange. Then, I did have some cramping on Monday and even yesterday. But, today was pretty much back to normal except I seem to have to pee a lot more. I had some kind of cramping on the left side, but that could be because my stomach has not been behaving lately.
So, that is what there is to report so far.
I wanted to do a quick post before heading to do Circle + Bloom then to bed.
The IUI was Monday and it went well. We had 15.7million sperm. So, that's good. We had two follicles per our monitoring appointment last Friday, one was a 15 and one a 19, both on the right side.
I stayed home on Monday and just rested. It was weird because the IUI wasn't that painful, but I had pain afterwards. More like discomfort. It was kind of uncomfortable to sit up straight, like in my "area". Strange. Then, I did have some cramping on Monday and even yesterday. But, today was pretty much back to normal except I seem to have to pee a lot more. I had some kind of cramping on the left side, but that could be because my stomach has not been behaving lately.
So, that is what there is to report so far.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
IUI Tomorrow (again)
Tomorrow is our IUI. We did 5 days of 5 mg of Letrozole (3-7) and 4 days of 50 units of Follistim (6-9). Then, we triggered last night at 8 with Ovidrel. Please pray with us that this works and that I can stay unstressed. I feel like everything is working against me to feel that way with how my job is going (or might be going away). My company is going to be purchased by a bigger company that is headquartered in Nebraska. Yeah, probably not much space for Accounting in Atlanta. But, I am taking the day off tomorrow to sew and work on putting together a new coupon book that is more organized and watch tv or movies. I don't care that it's quarter-end. I need time for me.
Good night all! Have a good week!
Good night all! Have a good week!
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