Update

Yesterday my baseline appointment went really well.  My dr. did a physical of sorts and then an ultrasound and a estrogen blood test.  Everything looked ready to go on the u/s with plenty of antral follicles.  My estrogen was supposed to be between 20-55 and mine was 27.  So, the Lupron has done it's job. I'll go back on Tuesday and we'll be looking for some of the follicles to hopefully begin maturing and my estrogen to be on the rise.  So, so far so good.  We made up the little Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f cocktail and injected it.  Apparently all syringes have their drawbacks because this one did not want to push in and prolonged the process (and the stinging as the meds went in).  But, I guess we have plenty of time to figure it out.

Last weekend my sister and I really enjoyed the self defense class.  It was a good beginner lesson.  The company that put it on is a little unorganized but they offer several other classes.

My husband made me a surprise appointment (which he told me about to make sure the timing was right) to get a massage at Spa Sydell!  He's so thoughtful.  He wants me to be relaxing while I'm going through this cycle.  That's a tall order with my job right now. 

Well, I hope everyone has a fun, safe weekend!

Things Are Really About To Get Started...

Tomorrow morning is my baseline appointment for my IVF cycle.  I'll have b/w and an u/s to make sure everything is cooperating.  Then, tomorrow night, we'll make our little Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f cocktail and we'll be on our way!  I had acupuncture today in the middle of the day and then had to go back to work afterwards.  Ugh!  It always makes me feel so tired that I want to go home and sleep.  I am dragging...and headed to get ready for bed already!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Things Are Going...

Well, I have been surviving the injections.  I thought I might try to give myself one, but decided it wasn't a great idea.  My husband has been doing a really good job.  The insulin syringes that came with my Lupron are not the best.  The nurse told us they were dull, but really, why?  Anyway, they have caused a bit of difficulty and trial and error, but he really has done well.  Plus, my husband is so loving.  He always crawls in to bed next to me and rubs my arm and stomach and gives me a kiss and tells me he loves me after he's given me the shot.  I try to behave, I just lay there and close my eyes, but what I really want to do is run from the room.  Oh, and I hold my breathe.  I think that gives him motivation to go more quickly.  They really don't hurt that much, if at all, but I seriously have issues with needles.  It's all in my head.

I was afraid I'd be a crazy person, all angry one second and weepy the next.  I really haven't felt that any more than usual, maybe even less, so I guess that means I am already crazy; or it isn't affecting me.  My acupuncturist told me that Lupron is really a kind of stimulant to your body according to Chinese medicine,  even though it stops everything "down there".  He then said that I might be reacting well because it might be similar to giving a kid with ADHD stimulants to calm them down and allow them to think more calmly and be normal.  Do you think he was inferring that I am high strung?  I'm not sure how I got to be so high strung.  It must have been puberty when it hit because when I was a little girl, I was pretty mellow.

My sister and I are going to a self-defense class at Centennial Olympic Park tomorrow.  I am really looking forward to it.  I just hope she doesn't beat me up.  She's always been a lot more aggressive than me.

Happy ICLW to everyone!  I am off to read some blogs and give some support!

We Have A Plan

So, my husband and I were at the RE for about 3 hours on Friday morning.  I had my saline ultrasound, which was a little painful, but not too bad.  They checked my prolactin level because they couldn't find that I'd ever had that done (I thought I had, but couldn't say when or by whom).  Now that I think of it, they never called me with those results.  I guess I'll be calling them on Monday.  They did an updated SA on my husband (which they also did not call us about).  I have been taking BCPs since the 8th and I will begin doing Lupron injections on Sunday.  I have serious issues with needles.  Like passing out, hyperventilating, you get the picture, issues.  When we did the IUI cycle with just a couple of injections last time, the only one we ended up having to do ourselves was the Ovidrel, which was subcutaneous, and I let my husband do it.  He did a really good job, but my nerves were shot by the time he did it because I was so nervous.  I think I am going to try to do it myself but I am not sure if I can do it.  I mean, physically, will I be able to stab myself with a needle.  Then, when we do the trigger, it will be intramuscular.  Yikes!  I did not like the look of that needle or the thought that if he hits a vein, he'll have to try again. 

Anyway, I'll be doing Lupron only until my baseline ultrasound and b/w on Oct. 29.  Then, that night I'll start the stims and still be taking the Lupron.  I am doing one vial of Menopur and Gonal-f.  The nurse taught us how to mix it to where we only have to do one injection.  I should have "freqent" monitoring appointments between 11/2 thru 11/9-11 and my retrieval should be 11/9-11/11.  I warned my boss that my doctor's appointments are going to get even worse than they already were and that if he really wanted to know what was going on I'd tell him but it was super personal and I wasn't sure if he'd want to know.  He didn't ask.  Whew.  I told him I would be out on the entire day of the egg retrieval, but I also told him that it was a procedure for which I'd be under anesthesia so I might be out the next day too.  I will probably take the next day off regardless of how I am feeling because darnit my job is stressful right now and I could use a day off.

Between the increase in my workload at work and the impending daily injections, my stomach hasn't been right since last Friday before our RE appointment.  I have had that nervous feeling constantly ever since. 

Okay, has anyone ever had this one:  the last two  mornings I have woken up and felt like I couldn't keep myself up straight.  My body wants to fall to the left.  I thought it might be stress, fatigue, or hormones (or any combination thereof) or maybe an inner ear infection.  I googled it and it said that it could be the hormones mixed with stress.  I am guessing my BCPs are at fault. 

I am really nervous about the side effects of Lupron.  I am already on edge these days and I hope I don't get myself fired or say something I'll regret to my sweet husband.

Oh, and the RE said that we were required to have a counseling session before we started IVF and let me tell you, it was worthless!  What a waste o $325!  All she did was ask about our TTC journey, our family backgrounds, then a couple of specific questions the RE probably has on a list about how we would handle triplets or the tiny chance that we might have to abort if both my life and the baby's was in danger. 

Okay, this post is ridiculously long.  Have a blessed Sunday tomorrow!

It's a New Day

I'm sorry I haven't updated.  Work is crazy, to say the least.  I am definitely not pregnant.  AF visited on Tuesday and I called the RE nurse to schedule a consultation.  We have decided to move forward with IVF.  This is not an easy decision as we have been through much study and prayer for over a year to get here (and saving $).  I started BCPs last night.  It could just be a reaction from all the stress I've had this week, or it could be the BCPs, but I feel a little off today.  Mild headache, mild queasiness.  Nothing that really warrants a complaint, but I still feel it.

Well, please keep us in your prayers.  I thought I would feel a lot more emotional, but I feel ready.  Scared to death but ready.  I have serious issues with needles and anything medical-related.  So, I hope I survive.  I felt sad that I have a new nurse for IVF.  If we don't get pregnant and do an FET, I'll get my old nurse back.  I like the new one okay, but I am just not a huge fan of change, really.

Have a great weekend everyone!  Lot's of sales this week.  My husband and I are meeting my sister, her husband and her step-daughter at the corn maze at Cagle's Dairy.  It's supposedly A-maize-ing!  But, we may have to stop at the Loft on the way there or back so that I can check out their $25 sweaters, of which I am in desperate need.

Things Are Looking Down

So, I start spotting today.  I went for acupuncture and the acunpunturist told me to come home and take a HPT and to take one again in the morning if it was negative.  He said if it was positive to try to come see him again tomorrow.  Well, it was negative.  I'll try again tomorrow morning b/c I know that the HPT is more likely to get an early positive with the first morning urine.  Things are not looking great.  I am feeling really down about this.  What to do?

2 WW Almost Over

Well, I have managed to stay sane the past 9 days by being so busy I could barely spend time to think about it.  My job duties are changing and I am basically doing the work of 2 people right now until they figure out who to give the stuff I am giving up away.  Blah! 

Anyway, the RE told me to do a HPT 10-12 days after the IUI.  Tomorrow is day 10, so I am going to wait until Tuesday morning.  I have been reading to see if I have any "symptoms," but I also know that the same symptoms can be other things as well, like digestive issues or PMS.  I have been charting my temperature and it is still higher than it was before ovulation.  But, so was last month's.  I am having some cramping, but sometimes I have menstrual cramps this early in my cycle also.  I have some constipation, but sometimes that happens randomly too.  I have been somewhat moody...but we all know that that can happen sometimes too.  So, the point of my rambling is that I am still hopeful but I am trying to not completely convince myself I'm pregnant because I don't want to be so disappointed. 

That's all the update I have for now.