Thursday, January 10, 2013

How We Broke Our News

I know I am a huge blog slacker.  But, what's new?!  I always thought I would be a super blogger if I ever got pregnant.  Does not seem to be happening.  There are a lot of things I wanted to kind of get off my chest in this space.  I think I will have to split this into several posts.  First, I never shared how we told people about our pregnancy.

Of course, we'd told our very closest friends from church the first weekend after we found out, before our second Beta.  We wanted them to be praying for us.  They knew about our struggles with infertility.  That was before we really knew what would happen with the immune issues and whatnot.  So, they told us excited they were but it was much more subdued than it would have been had we not had any worries.  They understood and respected our worries.  But, they have cheered us on the whole time.  We are blessed.

Here's how we told our families: 

We told my sister and her husband first.  We wanted them to know so that we could plan the cruise easier.  Plus, we had originally planned to just wait and tell them the day we left from the cruise then it turned out we would be seeing my dad and his wife and my hubby's sister and her family and his parents all in the same day before we were going on the cruise.  As I am closer to my sister than to the rest of those other family members, I wanted her to know first. We needed to get together anyway because she had lost weight and I had some old bathing suits that would probably fit her.  So, we got together for dinner one night and told them.  We were probably about 8 weeks at the time.  I could tell they were totally not expecting us to tell them that.  But they were excited.  I think my BIL made an "it's about time" comment, but my sister was just truly excited and surprised.  It took a minute for it to sink in, so her facial expressions were hilarious.  Apparently she discussed planning a shower with her husband all the way home and is already planning it now...for April!

Then, after our final RE appointment at 9 weeks, we had the tour of the Marietta/Dallas, GA area where we saw the rest of our families.  I bought a shirt that had a picture of a bun in an oven.  It was cute.  Well, I wore that.  We had brunch with my dad and his wife and I stood around in that shirt the whole time we were fixing brunch.  After we finished eating I finally said, "so, did y'all notice my shirt?"  They were like, yes, but we can't tell what it is.  I said, well, it's a bun in an oven.  They were like "oh" and they laughed.  Then, my dad said "so, are you trying to tell us something?"  And, of course I said yes.  I had the picture from the most recent ultrasound, so I showed them.  They were excited.  I was surprised that my dad didn't just make his nodding, semi smile face that he makes.  He actually got a big surprised smile.  I knew he'd enjoy having a grandchild around after they were here, but I didn't really think he'd show any interest until after that.

We then went over to my husband's sister's house to celebrate her daughter's 11th birthday.  We did gifts at the house then when we were about to leave for dinner, I opened my jacket up so they could see my shirt.  No one noticed.  They are a bunch of talkers anyway.  I thought my husband was going to announce it at the house, but he never did.  So, he told everyone at the restaurant.  Everyone was surprised.  His parents both reacted exactly like I was afraid they would.  They both said things like "it's about time" and "yeah, we only had to wait 9 years!"  I just completely ignored their jerky comments.  His sister asked some questions and then proceeded to spend the rest of the night talking about her pregnancies and advice she had.  She also offered us their crib and then said that she'd give her parents the travel swing that she had so they'd have it there and we didn't have to bring it when we came.  We really don't go to their house that often, and I'd have rather had it here, but I wasn't arguing.  They usually have different ideas than we do.  My husband told me on the way home that night that he intended to have a serious talk with his parents in a couple of weeks in person.  He didn't appreciate the comments they had made to us over the last few years and he especially didn't appreciate the comments they'd made that night.  He didn't want them talking to anyone else like that, like younger people at their church.

The next time my husband talked to his dad, he apologized for what he'd said.  His excuse was that he was so surprised and excited he just said something stupid.  Generally when you're surprised you say exactly what you mean to say.  But, whatever, I appreciated the gesture.  My husband went ahead and had his talk with them.  Luckily I didn't have to listen to this conversation because I was in the shower or something like that.

After that, I asked my hubby if we could tell our pastor and his wife the next day at church because I really needed a good reaction and I knew we'd get a good reaction from them.  They knew about our struggles also and my pastor's wife if uncontrollable when she hears about a pregnancy.  It was exactly the reaction I needed.

Well, those are the main people.  Everyone else had varying responses, but all were positive.  I found that telling people was more stressful than fun.  I was always afraid that people would make rude comments.  But, most people were nothing but excited.


  1. interesting story...I have written a post with the same title 'Walking on an unknown path' where I also speak about spirit....

  2. I am sorry that not everyone gave you the reaction that you deserve..... Sometimes people can be so insensitive. That's awesome that your hubby was on the same page as you, and did all the 'confronting'
    I hope things are going well-.