40w6d and still counting!

This is another post I started and didn't finish.  I am going to still post it here so that I can remember and also in case it can help anyone else.  I wrote this 4 days before Ruth was born.  Today is 2/15/14!

I am still here waiting for baby to come!  I can't remember what I posted about last, but I will do a quick review of the past few weeks just so I can remember later.

• I tested positive for Group B Strep, then I tested negative.  Yep.  Before I was tested the first time, I had taken garlic and probiotics orally, but I didn't know you aren't supposed to have them together or they don't work as well.  So, after I tested positive (and cried a lot about my big dream of having a needle-free delivery being ruined), I started doing a bruised clove of garlic, wrapped in a thin layer of loosely woven gauze and a vaginal probiotic (which is soooo expensive) every night for about 6 nights.  I was so relieved to be negative.
• They also retested my A1C and found it to be perfectly normal, thank you very much.  So, I no longer have to test my blood sugar four times a day.
• We have pretty much everything we need to have a newborn.  We really need to clean off the changing table though...
• I am waiting to order our prefolds until after the baby is born so that I get all of my 30 day trial in case I hate the brand I choose.  I need to choose a brand.
• We have had 4 showers in total - one given by my sister and cousin, one by my hubby's sister and mom, and one by my closest girlfriends at church that I knew about, and one surprise shower at work.  We have been very blessed by people's generosity.  We received all of our large items plus many if the small ones.  When I went to use our registry completion coupon, I only had to use the gift cards we'd gotten plus $26 cash, which we had also received as gifts!  We are so so thankful!
• On Thurs, June 13, 2 days before my due date, we went to a local Italian restaurant and had eggplant Parmesan.  Here in Atlanta, there is an Italian restaurant called Scalini's that everyone says has eggplant Parmesan that will send you into labor.  The restaurant we went to is actually owned by Scalin's.  Obviously it failed us...
• At my midwife appointment 2 Mondays ago, they felt of the baby and said it seemed like it was probably about 7 lbs.  The Monday before that, I asked her to check my cervix since I was already undressed for the GBS retest and I was 1.5cm, 50% effaced, -1 station.
• At my midwife appointment on this past Monday, I had her check me again and I was 3 cm dilated, 70% effaced, still a -1 station.  I bled a good bit during and after that check.  I hadn't eaten in several hours and it was hot in the room, so I almost passed out when she started talking about how she would recommend stripping my membranes this coming Monday if I still hadn't had the baby.  She suggested I go home and use my breast pump for 15 min on, 15 min off and see if that would kick-start labor.  It didn't.
• I tried again on Tues and I had what I though were contractions lasting about 5-10 minutes, so they suggested walking around until they stopped or kicked n on their own without the pump.  They called me later and told me to try starting slower, 5 min on, 10 min off. My husband and I went for a walk that night.  Still nothing going on.  Wednesday - same nothingness. We walked around the park (1.7 mi).
• Yesterday, Thursday, I took the day off from trying to induce labor. I sewed some cloth baby wipes and burp cloths.
• It is 5:18 Friday morning and I am up writing this post because I woke up at 2:30 to go to the bathroom and have not been able to fall back to sleep.  
• If you haven't guessed, I decided to stop working after I almost passed out at the doctor's office on Monday.  My boss waited until the week before my due date to bring in a temp for me to train.  How miserable is it to try to train someone to do your job in one week's time the week before your due date?
• We have tried other ways to naturally kickstart labor - pineapple, spicy foods, sex, more walking, bouncing in the birthing ball and other birthing ball exercises...you name it, we have tried it.
• I am still torn about getting my membranes stripped.  It is an intervention.  It could break my bag of waters before I am in active labor and cause me to have to be induced medically.  She did say that it would probably only take a few drops of pitocin and I could still have my water birth if so and if I was in active labor within 24 hours of my bag if waters breaking.

Still so tiny...

So, I started writing this post in November, couldn't figure out how to get pictures on the post from my iPad, and stopped.  I know it is outdated, but I don't want to forget the details I have typed in here.  So, I am posting it now, 2/15/14!  Also, I will hopefully be doing another post soon, with a finished birth story.

It has been way longer than I wanted it to be since I posted last (again)!

I got the opportunity to work part time from home for my job that I just left.  I took it because we have had some unexpected bills come up. Um, working from home with a baby is hard, especially when that baby still can't sleep without being held by daddy or nursed by mama.

I got the go-ahead to share name and pictures!  Meet Miss Ruth Abigail. She is named after two wise and incredibly courageous women from the Bible.  It seems I can't figure out how to post pics from my iPad, so those will have to wait.  Here they are.  The first is from the hospital and then one from each month since.

I feel so blessed in motherhood, but also completely challenged!  As it turns out, Ruth was not getting enough to eat. She won't latch deeply enough and she won't do the exercises to help her learn.  I am in a vicious circle of she won't take enough so I don't make enough. I also don't have many chances to pump because she screams and cries when you put her down a lot still.  I have been supplementing formula and whatever breastmilk I can pump.  Over the 4th month of her life, she gained about 6 oz total.  Last week, when I was supplementing, she gained 7 oz.  It breaks my heart to think I have been making my baby go hungry out of ignorance for 4 months.  This has also caused other issues, it seems:  her cues are all mixed up and she still can't stay asleep if you put her down sound asleep.  She just tells me she is hungry no matter what she needs - food, comfort, sleep, or play.  It seems to be getting some better, but it's hard to tell. Last week, in the morning, I put her in her car seat while asleep out of necessity (once I had nature calling loudly and once I needed to help my husband give the cat a pill).

I am really taking this formula thing hard. I also have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and that might also be contributing to my ole supply.  I cry almost every day. Ruth sometimes refuses to nurse at all because the bottle is so much easier.  I worry that she will have weight troubles because of this.  I know her cues are messed up but what about that protective reflex they have at birth that keeps them from overeating is somehow messed up because she was always hungry before.  The pediatrician says to just keep feeding her until she pushes it away.  I just don't know.  There is just so much disappointment and guilt over having to give our baby formula.  I am just praying for peace from The Lord.

This new plan of supplementing plus the fact that Ruth has a stuffy nose has caused us to get even less sleep than we would normally get. I am still trying to figure out a schedule, actually.  We also need a bedtime routine.  I can't tell if my husband doesn't understand the importance of one or if he is just still too overwhelmed by the amount of things we need to do around the house to buy into getting one.  Without him on board, it's hard for me to get into one.  I feel like that is a bad thing...

Ruth is quite advanced for her 4.25 months, despite the fact that she only weighs 9 lbs 14 oz.  She has been laughing for more than two months, chats away in her own baby language, plays with toys, bats at stuff over head, feeds herself from a bottle and can use a sippy cup a little too efficiently so we had to stop so she wouldn't drown herself, rolled from belly to back at 3 months and from back to belly this past weekend.  She reaches for me when I walk into the room and smiles big!  Such a sweetie!  Her feet are so great and she chews on her toes every chance she gets. She really can't when wearing cloth diapers.  This week she has started putting her lips together and blowing, like you would to play a trumpet.  She is trying very hard to sit up.